Summer has been extremely hard on all my resolutions and intentions vis a vis loosening the ties.
Unfortunately I’ve discovered that with the children home, I really do just want to spend time with them. When I drive the youngest to the skate park I want to stay and admire his prowess. When the middle one expects me to drop everything and drive him somewhere I’m pathetically grateful that he chose to endure 10 minutes in a confined space with me, rather than taking a city bus. When the oldest wants to sit and chat over a cup of tea I lose all sense of urgency and relegate those pesky project deadlines to the back burner.
So, I feel as though I’ve taken a giant step in the wrong direction, but heck when they’re gone, there’ll be plenty of time and empty house in which to achieve magnificent and productive things.
Having said that, though, I have rediscovered a buried passion for redecorating. When they were little I could let go of all kinds of stress by immersing myself in the joys of choosing colours, buying rollers and brushes and transforming a room – any room, it didn’t really matter.
When the children got a little older disaster struck, and they wanted to help. Suddenly my relaxing pastime became a nightmare of subterfuge and avoidance techniques.
Now that they are all in, or nearing, their teens, of course helping with anything is the last thing on their minds. Suddenly my painterly pursuits are my own again.
So, I have a transformed playroom, which looks so great that I am considering banning the children (although that being the case it might be prudent to rename it to avoid any unwanted connotations); I have a bright purple upstairs landing and a red front door. Fabulous!
September will come soon enough and then I will be return full force to the business of becoming an independent adult.