OK – I admit I borrowed that headline from a fridge magnet, but it pretty much sums up my life for the last few months.
I’ve gone from being the pansy who wears sweaters all summer to standing on the deck in -30 degree weather, desperately fanning a breeze down my shirt front.
But, I can’t even claim to be overheated all the time; if only it were that simple. No, one minute I’ll be shivering and blue with cold, but even as I struggle to stem the chattering of my teeth I know it will only be moments before I am engulfed in a wave of nauseating heat.
And as for sleeping at night – forget about it! I swing between winter and summer, pulling the duvet on and kicking it off again in an endless dance of the seasons. I’ve taken to sleeping with a fan poised by the bed so that I can switch it on as I feel the heat rising. Oh how I miss my flannel pyjamas!
I have to say the Christmas party season was tough. For a start I had to stick to the barest make-up because, let’s face it, it’s not staying on for long. Secondly I could only wear the flimsiest of clothes, bowing to the need to layer and allow for a draft. And, of course conversation was a problem – one minute I would be standing around engaging in sparkling banter, and the next I would be red in the face and ‘glowing’ profusely.
You know those overweight, middle-aged men who lollop around wiping sweat off their pudgy faces with a hanky? Well that is me, and I have to tell you, it’s not the image I’m going for.
All in all, I’m not thrilled with this particular phase. And to make matters worse, every time I moan to hubby he smirks the self-satisfied smile of someone who has spent his whole life overheated, and says “welcome to my life”. Honestly, if he has spent his whole life with hot flashes then I think it might be time for a specialist.
I’m assured by some that this will pass, and informed by others that it could last for years. Well, let me tell you, I’m menopausal and moody, and it’ll be a jolly good thing for everyone when it’s over.