Where to Start

I haven’t posted for a while and it’s not for want of things to write about … I suppose it’s more a question of working out where to even start.  My life is a cornucopia of absurdity.

My weekends in June were spent sitting on a deck chair in the parking lot of a local mall – with a big sign promising trees for sale.  It was a concept that will be filed firmly under ‘s’ for ‘seemed like a good idea at the time’.

You see, having invested every spare penny, for the last 18 years, in my husband’s tree farm it has come to our attention that at some point the investment should yield some return.  No, I’m regularly assured, we don’t need retirement savings, or an education plan because the trees will keep us in our dotage and pay for the kids’ schooling.  Well, guess what – we have one child going to university in September and my mind has definitely seen better days.  And, as yet, no sign of the promised riches.

For the first few years there were enough trees to supply my husband’s own landscaping projects, then as the numbers gradually increased he was able to supply a few to other landscapers.  This year we need to make some serious retail sales.  But how?

Hence the contract to sell from the mall.  And, the landscaper of the house being somewhat busy at this time of year, I co-opted myself to do the sitting … in the pouring rain, the howling wind and the complete absence of eager buyers.  Thank goodness for modern technology and Terry Pratchett, without either of which I would have lost my mind (and further hastened the aforementioned dotage).

I’m pretty sure I put on about 10lb during the month; the Starbucks across the parking lot was like a shining beacon of comfort and the time spent ordering a chai tea provided some precious moments of human contact.

It was rather like running a lemonade stand, with a slightly inflated price structure.  Do you think I get cosmic brownie points for the greenhouse gases those trees sucked up while we sat there amid the exhaust fumes?

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2 thoughts on “Where to Start

  1. By far your funniest post.
    Your experience sounded like a book signing. Humiliating. (I’m a writer–not a salesperson.) And there wasn’t a Starbucks anywhere to ease my pain.

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