Never Good Enough

This is a message to the boy who keeps making my daughter cry (written in the secure knowledge that he will never see it).


Too busy living “in this world rather than of this world”, he’s so concerned about his duty to God and his family that he lets Roxy down over and over again.  Plans and promises are swatted aside like a pesky fly whenever something more important (ie anything) comes along … or if he just feels like it.

Sure, he loves her in his way … and everything would be perfect if only she would dress, behave and talk as dictated by his church.  In fact, she has this unfortunate habit of wantonly displaying her knees and shoulders for anyone to see and lust over.  Apparently shoulders are forbidden because their curves are reminiscent of breasts – they’re a gateway body part.

She is a beautiful, talented, funny and thoroughly delightful girl (and I say that completely without bias) and she deserves so much better.

I know … what kind of mother complains that her daughter’s boyfriend is ‘too nice‘?  No drinking, no swearing; no urge to spend the weekends doing wildly inappropriate boy things like chasing girls, getting drunk and throwing up behind the A&W.  Yes, I thought that was all good at first, too.  But it’s not real.

And, as a family, we’re completely unable to  compete with all that perfection.  They live in a house that is always show-home tidy; he’s never heard his parents exchange a cross word; and all the children spend entire days just helping out.

We live in a nice house, drive nice vehicles and stick firmly within the bounds of most social conventions.  But, on the other hand, we also argue, leave dirty dishes in the sink, ignore the occasional weed in the flower beds, and slob around in our pyjamas until noon when the fancy strikes.  Oh my God – what trailer trash!

I really don’t want her broken hearted and love-sick, but I am so hoping that when she goes to school in Vancouver she will realize that she can do better, and that there’s a lot to be said for normal human frailty.

And as for him – I do wish him all the best.  I just hope he realizes that what he needs is a nice little girl from his church who Mummy can approve of, and who wants nothing more than to produce a houseful of babies and do what she’s told.


3 thoughts on “Never Good Enough

  1. Your daughter needs to run far, fast, farther and faster away from him before he destroys her spirit!
    I will send her some positive vibes for strength!

  2. I’m really trying not to say too much, although she does know how I (and pretty much everyone else) feel – but teenagers aren’t exactly known for their openness to parental dating advice. Thanks for your thoughts.

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