It’s lucky the good folk of this city have by-laws to protect them from the atrocities that happen every day on our streets.
Just yesterday my own neighbourhood was saved from a despicable parking horror.
We live in a long cul-de-sac with an island down the middle, effectively creating a loop. It’s a quiet street, with no through traffic, so people who drive or park in the road are always residents, or visitors to one of the houses here. Up our end of the cul-de-sac, where the pie-shaped lots don’t have a front yard, any cars that can’t get onto a drive park along the side of the island.
That might seem like an innocuous enough system, except that in the land of the free you’re only allowed to park on the right side of the road. Anyone found parking on the left side of the road is served a ticket for parking too far from the curb (as opposed to parking on the wrong side of the road).
Parking too far from the curb? Even the name of the offense is absurd!
Now I can appreciate that on a busy highway you don’t want people randomly zipping across oncoming traffic to snag a parking space on the other side. Makes sense. But in our sleepy little cul-de-sac?
In any case, an irate and rather rude by-law officer arrived threatening tickets to anyone parked against the island facing the wrong way.
The upshot was, of course, that all the cars were turned around; same number of cars parked in the same spots against the island, but now the noses face the other way.
And so another insidious act of criminality is prevented, and another by-law officer can go home content in the knowledge that he made a difference.