We went to Red Deer yesterday for Easter dinner with the family. As always it was a lovely chance to get the family together and overeat.
We had a nice day, but it just wasn’t quite right; there were two very important components missing – specifically the one away at school in Vancouver and the one we had to leave home working.
I can’t believe I’m even saying this, but there was not nearly enough chaos to the day. Here’s how it’s supposed to go…
Hubby and I get up and shower and gather together whatever we need to take with us. Then we spend an hour or so trying to coax life out of three piles of groaning duvet. When eventually we are able to unearth some form of sentient lifeforce we are in for an hour or two of unproductive crashing around mixed with a distressing amount of colourful language, much of which comes from Hubby who is, by this time, fit to explode.
Eventually all three will be in a sufficient state of dress to be herded out to the car, where they are piled in with Roxy, the family peace-keeper, inevitably in the middle.
Once the engine is started we have to reopen the house at least three times so that someone can rush in for forgotten necessities. Then, before we are fully off the drive our ears will be assailed with a series of incomprehensible grunts which, from prior experience, we are able to translate as “I’m hungry. You made me leave before I had any breakfast”.
After we’ve stopped for a disgustingly greasy fast food breakfast we are able to hit the highway, just hoping we can avoid any juice/ketchup related accidents serious enough to force us to stop.
Thanks to the miracle of personal technology, once the meal is dispatched, all three children plug themselves in and Hubby and I are free to talk about them without any fear of being overheard.
Ah good times!
As a side note, this year of course, there was also no Easter Bunny. A sad omission as I’m not sure where my April chocolate fix is going to come from. It’s a scientific fact that chocolate has no calories when it’s consumed for the altruistic purpose of saving your beloved offspring from the toxic effects of processed sugar.
My next project is going to be perfecting the kind of guilt-inducing maternal martyrdom required to ensure filial presence at the holidays.